Archive for Gun Control

Buy the Dick a Burger

Wonkette has a link to this blog, National Buy Dick Cheney a Hamburger Day. Now, it sounds like a great idea (who wouldn’t want to clog those arteries?) but then you realize that we’re supposed to eat the hamburger, thereby defeating the purpose of sending Cheney to the Captive Quail Hunting Ranch in the Sky. I propose something different. As an expression of our adoration and love for the biggest Dick since Nixon, everyone buy a $5.00 gift certificate for McDonalds (“Home of the golden arterial stents”) and have it delivered to:

Vice President Richard “Mephistopheles” Cheney
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

In the alternative, you could buy him some Jack Daniels and hope he shoots Bush this time. Plus, I hear he’s much nicer when he has a lampshade on his head. He’s certainly easier to look at that way.

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Former Governor Threatens Presidential Opponents

I’m used to mudslinging in politics. But it really takes balls to threaten to shoot your opponents. Former Governor Mike Fuc Nevermind. Not going to go there, it’s too easy. Mike Huckabee jabbed at the fact that Mitt Romney just joined the NRA, saying “I was the first governor in America to have a concealed carry permit, so don’t mess with me.” Just think what it will do for equality if we elect this guy: we will have the first paranoid-delusional president! A giant step for recognition of mental illness!

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