Meet the Candidates: Rudolph William Louis Giuliani (Update)

Okay, I was wrong. A week ago last Sunday I wrote this about Rudy Giuliani:

Giuliani’s single biggest weakness right now is his support for the occupation in Iraq and his continued support for neo-imperialist wars. This is almost certainly calculated to draw as many fundamentalists and industrialists to the primary polls as possible, but it’s a bit like shortening a baseball bat so you can swing it faster. By taking a position opposed by a good two-thirds of voters, he might as well give up now.

While anyone still supporting the occupation of Iraq is nearly as boneheaded as a Pachycephalosaurus, his main weakness right now is the fact that he is certifiably insane. While Giuliani was speaking about (read: lying about) the Democratic candidates’ foreign policies, he said: “Hillary and Obama are kind of debating whether to invite [Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Osama bin Laden] to the inauguration or the inaugural ball.” Uh-huh.

To review, we have a paranoid-delusional Baptist minister, a “dumb as hell” actor, a senator with clear signs of senile dementia, and a simply idiotic serial monogamist running for the Republican nomination. So, Mitt, it’s up to you to make it a perfecta: might I suggest schizophrenia? Who knows, maybe receiving campaign advice straight from God will help.

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2 Comments »

  1. Steph said

    Sorry, Bush has already taken that M.O….Oh, wait, it was invading Iraq and Afghanistan that George got advice on straight from God….still, too close. Either way, God is playing really bad jokes on the Republicans, or they’re listening to the wrong god.

  2. GOD said

    Now, now you little Prairie Poop. I was talking to George about “a rock”. Its not my fault the little bastard doesn’t understand English and thought I sad Iraq

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