Meet the Candidates: Hillary Rodham Clinton

Election season comes earlier every year, or so they say. I personally have been around for so few (four, aware of two) that I haven’t noticed much of a difference. However, since the candidates are already turning beautiful colors declaring their candidacies, I’m going to analyze each of the major candidates earlier than most. (But one at a time. I’m only human.) Each has a few parts:

Chance at Nomination (Out of 10)
Electability (Out of 10)
Main Strength
Main Weakness
Good or Bad (The higher the better)

This edition (as it says in the title) is about Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, Queen of the Cold Pricklies.

Chance at Nomination: 7. Unless she makes a major mistake (sex with an intern?) she’s likely to beat out both Obama and Edwards. Of course, Obama doesn’t have as good of a name recognition as she does, so once the campaign starts in earnest, this could change dramatically.

Electability: 8, but depends on opponent. Hillary is a very polarizing figure (as if you didn’t already know that), but she could win over moderates with such issues as sex and violence in video games (she’s opposed, by the way), abortion, etc. It doesn’t hurt that most of the Republican candidates suck.

Main Strength: Experience. Aside from her time in the Senate, she worked with her husband on legislation and was politically active for most of her life (she campaigned for Barry Goldwater). She also has the most support from party elites and fund-raisers.

Main Weakness: This one’s two-fold. First, she’s fighting one of the worst diseases that could afflict a candidate, one that could bring her campaign to a premature death: Cooties. All that “is America ready for a woman president” rhetoric is empty and offensive. Unfortunately, it also reflects the reality that we have a lot of bigots, misogynists, and well-meaning-but-completely-indoctrinated people in America. Second, she’s incredibly annoying, and not particularly likable. When she tries to act warm and welcoming, she’s more like a fluorescent bulb than the sun.

Good or Bad: 6. Well, she’s a woman, and electing a woman president would go a significant way towards proving that women are capable politicians. She’s also pro-choice, pro-civil rights, and not a republican. On the other hand, she voted for the flag-burning amendment, she tends to pander, and she’s a hawk. All in all, a mixed blessing.


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